Fallowing

A road through the dunes at Rancho Guadalupe Dunes Preserve, April 2022

I feel as though my body and mind are in a fallow state.

Everything must go underground.

Life has to come up again in a different way, a different crop.

The old land became parched and stressed.

The transformation isn’t easy. I watch my skin change, the elasticity of youth fleeing, under my eyes I see my eye socket shape so clearly.

Its darkness is impossible to deny, to cover it is to know that any cover is just a flimsy joke of a disguise.

This familiar game is over. It’s useless to even mourn it.

Things just need to be shaped into a more palatable reality. No illusions welcome.

Just accept, let go what doesn’t fit, adapt and prepare for that final, smaller third.

It is easier to give in to this strong current, and float without resistance toward its inevitable culmination.

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