Tomorrow the tree goes bye bye, and we put away our ornaments for another year.
Second day of a long, cool late afternoon walk after weeks of rain. Always flowers in the house.
My resolution for this year is to break out of the layers of disorganization my life has taken on since becoming a parent. Simplify everything. Get rid of things I hang on to for no reason – and get rid of this creeping fear that I have to hang on to things because I might not have enough money to replace them in the future.
All of this has been an additional burden weighing me down that I have been only partly conscious of. The children are fast becoming adults and I have to prepare for life after they fly the coop. And start being productive with the recovered time I will have, albeit with much less energy to do something with it than when I started on the family path 18 years ago. Age and especially health has a way of doing that to people…
I got a new macro lens for my camera phone and maybe I will utilize that for something more substantial. But no big projects planned to stress me out – let things develop with ease, organically and by chance. I’m really weary of the manic energy of the world in general, others’ goals do not match mine.
In some way, I feel I’ve moved on and away from all the things that preoccupied me for years. All the things that I was told were such a big deal.
The internal, private life is the one for me.